Is this what I was born to do....

So my mom tells me that I don't ever update my blog and so I guess I will write something to please her. That's not really the reason, but I guess it gives me extra motivation. I haven't written since I have started teaching. Now it is eight weeks in and I am pretty much a pro at this whole teaching thing..not really. Everything I have known since I was a wee little one has been questioned the last couple of weeks concerning my life long goal to become a teacher.
I have found that I don't really enjoy teaching. That is flat out how it is. I haven't really come to love the children as fast as I thought I would, but I am hoping that that will come with time. It is sad to admit this, but it is the honest truth. Do I really care if they know how to read well by the end of second grade? Do I really have their best interest at mind? I have noticed that I have really been selfish in my desires. I always think "I just want to go out and play instead of planning a really amazing lesson for my students." I realize that while I can't spend every minute with teaching stuff, I need to have their best interest at heart instead of the next thing on my social calendar.
President Monson really put it in perspective for me today when he asked everyone to give him a gift for his birthday. He wanted everyone to find someone who needed help in their lives and be there for them and help them out. I thought about this and figured that I could really do a lot of good for my students if I put them first and try to get out of that 'me, me' mindset that is plaguing our society these days.
I think that the best way to learn to love someone is to serve them and so I have decided to make a concentrated effort to serve my students so that I can learn to love them more. And I just need to smile more. My kids don't see that enough with all the stress of being a first year teacher. But i have noticed that their behavior reflects my attitude towards them.
Anyhow, while I have tossed around the idea of going back to get my Masters, I think I am going to try these strategies for a while and see if it gets better...I will keep you posted...